Monday, April 4, 2011

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

In kindergarten, I learned that April showers bring May flowers. And every year, I waited for the torrential Pennsylvanian downpours that would transform my neighborhood into a lush landscape of technicolored flora. But they never came. Now I realize that expression had no place in my curriculum as it clearly refers to English weather.

It doesn't surprise me that they came up with a motto to excuse England's infamous weather patterns. I can only assume that it was meant to reassure the population that this miserable climate can have a silver lining. But it's hardly as though April is the only month that sees rain in the UK. It seems to me like they ought to have a rain-related rhyme for every month. So I've taken the liberty to suggest a few. Like...

July precipitation yields August anticipation,

or...

October drizzle will never fizzle,

even...

December's wintery mix leaves much to be missed.

I'll admit that Springtime here is ridiculously picturesque though. With its rolling, green paddocks speckled by bleating lambs, and bumbling bees bouncing between beds of blooming blossoms. Okay, maybe I see their point. It might be worth the rain. Maybe.


Monday, March 28, 2011

It's Been Sew Long

In the past 359 days, I have been a negligent blogger, only read one of the books on my reading list, returned to the USA for three months, married my Brit, and my passport and visa application that were lost by the USPS arrived in New York a year and two months late (which didn't stop the consulate from processing it and threatening to refuse the visa).

I now find myself in unemployment limbo, that seductive stalemate in life that gets you thinking things like, "Maybe I should open a 1950s themed ice cream parlor in Picadilly Circus". It only took me about a month to discover that the only way to survive not working is by having a hobby. So now I sew. And my project list grows as my job application list dwindles.

But sewing has been more than a pass-time, a stress-reliever, and a distraction, it's been an acclimation tool. It's been a way to get involved in the culture here and meet new people, which admittedly hasn't been easy since England seems to be surprisingly lacking in haberdasheries and fabric stores. The crafting culture in the UK isn't the same as the US and there's nothing similar to a JoAnn Fabrics or Michael's. So at the beginning of every project, I have to go on the hunt and drive forty minutes to a tiny village in Wales in search of Amy Butler fabric or a replacement bulb for my Janome sewing machine. But these expeditions have introduced me to some interesting places and I'm slowly making connections with the "locals" and women who have been sewing since the Second World War.

I'm so used to the convenience of the giant chains in America and I'm realizing just how impatient it's made me. It's nice to slow down and enjoy the entire process of a project. Still, sometimes I just want that quick crafting fix. Maybe I should open a chain of fabric stores...

Happy Spring!


Friday, April 2, 2010

It's a Good Friday Sing-a-Long!

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One a penny,
Two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons;
One a penny,
Two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

When I was little, I sang this song. And like the other children, I had no idea what it meant, but didn't particularly care. Who knew what any of those nursery rhymes were about? After my fifth grade recorder concert, I never gave 'Hot Cross Buns' much thought and remained blissfully uninformed. Not anymore.

A hot cross bun is a bun. A bun that has a cross on it, and is served hot...a hot cross bun. I don't know about anyone else, but I was mildly disappointed to learn that's all they are. In England, they're eaten on Good Friday to commemorate the crucifixion of the Christian Messiah. Hence the cross.

As for the rest of the song, I wouldn't make the argument that it's particularly informative or even interesting. Thanks to inflation, it's been quite a while since you could get anything for a penny. And why would you sell various quantities of the same product at the same price? So that's not really teaching realistic consumer awareness or economics to children. And I can't even think of a reason why sons would only get buns if they don't have any sisters.

Really, why are these seriously out-dated (and let's be honest, creepy) nursery rhymes still around? Take 'Ring Around the Rosy' for instance. What child wouldn't enjoy singing about plague-ridden corpses burning in the streets? Then there's 'Three Blind Mice'. Knife yielding farmers' wives who mutilate seeing-impaired rodents = jolly good fun! We can't forget poor 'Jack and Jill', who while performing a routine chore fell perilously down a hill, resulting in Jack's broken skull. And seriously, Miss Muffet, what the hell is a tuffet?

Anyway, I made hot cross buns.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Juicy Bits

If you're in America, and you're referring to the 'juicy bits', you're probably getting to the good part of the latest piece of gossip. But if you're in England, you're probably talking about orange juice. Juicy bits are pulp.


I find this ironic considering the pulp is the least juicy bit of juice. I was told though that 'pulp' sounds too literal and unappealing. Okay, I'll give them that. But then they need to see my point about calling the bathroom the 'toilet'. Saying that you need to use the toilet, or asking where the toilets are, is much too literal and quite unappealing.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Pleasant Pheasant


Sunday roast: A big thing in the UK and a nice tradition that some families still have in the US. A lot of effort can typically be expected to go into this meal. But I imagine that few go to more elaborate lengths than a trip to the local butcher's (which in itself has become a rarity in the States with the heaps of readily available shrink-wrapped animal parts waiting in mounds at WalMart) to pick up a piece of meat. But there's no need to go to into town when dinner wanders into the front garden.

I glanced out the window earlier this week to see a brightly colored bird, the size of a house cat, peacefully pecking at the lawn. "Oh, look! It's so pretty!", I said to my British beau. And next thing I knew he's marched into the yard with a loaded rifle. Apparently these lovely birds have been bred for the sole purpose of being hunted, evidently by lazy hunters who don't want much of a challenge, which would explain why it did little in the way of fleeing for its life as I watched, reluctantly curious, from the bedroom.

Given today's cornucopia of rehydrated, dehydrogenated, freeze-dried, flash-frozen, genetically-modified, prepackaged bounty, I've always seen hunting as a cruel and unnecessary hobby. But as I was reminded by my proud provider, "In these economic times, who can really afford to pass up a free meal?". So feeling as though the unfortunate fowl was owed the respect of a dignified death, we consulted YouTube for a step-by-step guide to how a pheasant goes from pecking to plate.

We were fully equipped with plastic gloves, bin liners, vacuum cleaner, newspapers, paper towels, bleach,...and knives. Though my job was little more than holding open a plastic bag, I'll still omit the details. I was surprised, however, by how horrible it wasn't. It didn't take long for it to resemble what I would find in any freezer section and for some reason that's the stage where we can comfortably disassociate life (and subsequently death) from our food.

I realize that this experience is hardly unique to the UK and there are plenty of people in the US who prepare food this way quite regularly. But I will note that even while this was the first time I've been so intimately involved with the origin of my dinner, the abundance of locally grown and produced food in the UK is notable.

Most labels in a supermarket boast "British Beef", "English Cheddar", "Made in the UK". We even get our milk delivered to our doorstep fresh from a dairy farm a mile up the road! It wouldn't even be difficult to stock a pantry with only products produced within just one county. This is something that I can't imagine being able to do in the US.

Even if you're lucky enough to have a farmer's market, or even a WholeFoods, within a 25 mile radius, you'd still have a hard time consuming such an array of local goods. I get the impression that consumers have much more of a voice in the UK. It's an island that could fit inside Alabama, with more than 60 million people, and they've managed to keep a lot of food local. So why on earth can't the United States, with its vast amounts of land and hundreds of millions of consumers not successfully demand more locally grown, produced, and sustainable food? I mean, consuming is what we do!

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